Friendship Fallout: Navigating Adult Breakups

picture of friends together
navigating friendship breakup.


I experienced my first friendship breakup when I turned 20. It was the hardest heartbreak of my life, I had lost my then-best friend, and I experienced the worst kind of pain. There were many unanswered questions on my end, and on many days I wished that I could fix the already broken friendship. I had lost friends during the course of growing up but that was because I moved from one state to another, changed schools, or life just happened but in this case, it was an actual breakup. Every walk to the salon to change hairstyles reminded me of her, every day attending my church service without saving a seat for her was a reminder of the event I tried hard to actually forget. That was not going to be the only friendship breakup I would experience as an adult, I experienced many more and it was really difficult navigating this situation.

 Friendship breakups can be just as challenging and emotionally taxing as romantic breakups. As we navigate the complexities of adulthood, it’s not uncommon for friendships to evolve or come to an end. While the process can be difficult, it’s essential to approach friendship breaks with grace, self-reflection, and a focus on personal growth. In this blog post, we’ll explore strategies to help you navigate adult friendship breaks, heal from the experience, and move forward with resilience and positivity.

  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: For the longest time after experiencing some of the worst friendship breakups what I felt was anger, from anger, it moved to resentment and eventually, I grew to a place of acceptance Friendship breakups can evoke a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, and even relief. It’s important to allow yourself to fully acknowledge and experience these emotions. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the friendship and understand that it’s normal to feel a sense of emptiness. By acknowledging your feelings, you can begin the healing process.
  2. Reflect on the Relationship: One of the most profound moments for me during my most recent friendship breakup was realizing how one-sided the friendship was, I did all of the heavy lifting and was so blinded by my love and passion for making sure I always keep the people around me happy that I forgot to notice that I was in a one-sided friendship. Time away made me realize that I had a pretty bad dynamic. Taking the time to face the truth about the situation helped me to face and accept the breakup.  Take time to reflect on the dynamics of the friendship and what led to its breakdown. Consider whether there were any underlying issues or patterns that contributed to the rift. Reflecting on the relationship allows you to gain insight into your own behavior and reactions, fostering personal growth and self-awareness.
  3. Seek Support: During this challenging time, lean on your support network. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or even a therapist to express your feelings and seek guidance. Surround yourself with people who uplift and understand you, providing the emotional support necessary for healing.
  4. Practice Self-Care: Self-care is crucial during a friendship break. Engage in activities that bring you joy, peace, and relaxation. This may include exercising, practicing mindfulness, Journaling, pursuing hobbies, or spending time in nature. Prioritizing self-care helps you rebuild your emotional strength and resilience.
  5. Let Go of Resentment: While it’s natural to feel hurt or betrayed after a friendship break, holding onto resentment only prolongs the healing process. Work towards forgiveness, not for the sake of the other person, but for your own well-being. Understand that forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning their actions but rather freeing yourself from the burden of anger and bitterness.
  6. Focus on Gratitude: Shift your perspective by focusing on the positive aspects of the friendship and expressing gratitude for the experiences and memories shared. Cultivating a sense of gratitude helps you shift your energy towards appreciation rather than dwelling on negativity.
  7. Embrace New Opportunities: You will always find people that will love and appreciate your presence in their lives, embrace this friendship and allow the connection to grow. Friendship breaks create space for new opportunities and connections to enter your life. Embrace this newfound freedom and explore activities, groups, or communities that align with your interests and values. Be open to forming new friendships, knowing that each connection brings the potential for growth and fulfillment.
  8. Learn and Grow: View the friendship break as an opportunity for personal growth and self-improvement. Consider the lessons you’ve learned from the experience and how you can apply them to future relationships. Use this time to focus on self-discovery, setting boundaries, and nurturing your own personal development.

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Conclusion: Navigating a friendship break in adulthood is a challenging but transformative experience. By acknowledging your feelings, reflecting on the relationship, seeking support, and practicing self-care, you can heal, grow, and move forward with resilience and optimism. Embrace the opportunities that arise from this transitional period, and remember that new connections and meaningful friendships await you on your journey.


  1. Thanks Oluchi for this beautiful read, Navigating friendship at adulthood sometimes isn’t so easy as life is always happening and it takes a lot of intentionality to navigate friendship as an adult, but this piece succinctly puts everything one needs to know about the hurts and happiness of gaining, navigating and loosing friends.

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m glad you found the article insightful and relatable. You’re absolutely right that navigating friendships as adults can be challenging, given the busyness and changes in our lives. It does require a certain level of intentionality and effort to maintain and nurture those connections. I’m glad the piece was able to encapsulate the joys and challenges that come with gaining, navigating, and sometimes losing friends. Feel free to share any personal experiences or additional thoughts you have on the topic—I’d love to hear more from you!

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